Psychotherapy for Family and Parenting Issues.
Beginning to explore the ruptures and repair in the family tree helps us to understand and to feel what came before and how these things might effect life today. Healing could look like showing a kind of kindness toward ourselves that no one in our family line ever got to experience and to ‘disrupt’ these patterns from continuing in the future - to live a better life as people, as parents, as family.
How Can Therapy Help You With Family and Parenting Problems?
Striving to be ‘perfect’ is hard work; the perfect partner, the perfect worker, the perfect friend. Coming to therapy can be the first time someone contemplates life not having to be ‘perfect’ because in actual fact things don’t have to be perfect to be good. Saying “this is good enough” isn’t settling. It’s being kind to yourself. It’s knowing that life can be a bit messy, not so polished or Instagram-perfect.
‘Good Enough is Good Enough’
When it comes to parenting, the pressure to be ‘perfect’ whatever that means, can be immense. You can read countless books which will suggest the ‘right way’ and the anxiety keeps rising. It’s reassuring to look at it through the lens of psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott whose belief was that ‘good enough is good enough’ when it comes to parenting. Therapy can help by offering guidance on managing the pressures and expectations, providing tools for self-compassion, and helping you navigate the challenges of parenting without the need for perfection. It can encourage a healthier, more balanced approach to family dynamics.
Healing from Fragile Parenting
The fragile parent was already hurting long before their child was born. Maybe their own parents didn’t show up, maybe without even meaning to, they made their child responsible for fixing a pain that wasn’t theirs to fix. That’s where therapy can help. We don’t have to be perfect parents. We just have to pause and to ask hard questions. To never put our need for affection or approval above a child’s right to safety. Healing from fragile parenting means doing what our parents couldn’t: putting safety first. Being strong enough to sit with our own discomfort so our children don’t have to carry it. It’s not about blame. It’s about breaking the cycle. And maybe, with some good therapy we can build something our kids can lean on, without fear or guilt. Something safe. Something good enough.
Thriving in a Blended Family
Blending a family can be challenging but hugely rewarding. Accepting that you can't control the actions of a disgruntled ex, a common scenario, and setting a positive example for your children by making healthy choices and setting boundaries is key. If an ex disappoints the kids, or if their behavior hurts your family, it’s okay to feel upset. Therapy can provide valuable tools for managing emotions, improving communication and can help you deal with your own feelings and better support your children. It’s key to be honest with your children in an age-appropriate way and most importantly, to celebrate and nurture the family you have created.